Lost and Found
As I have mentioned in previous posts, after starting off strong with this blog, I stumbled around the holidays and then went AWOL in January of 2026 – I lost my mojo. In restarted in June of 2026, so now I have found my mojo, at least for now. I promised I would say a few words about this losing and finding, which is what I am going to do in this post and perhaps a few others.
For the first two years of my retirement (2023-24), I pretty much followed the "semi-retired plan," where I continued to do some writing, training, and consulting, but also set aside considerable time for chilling and hanging out with my family. It was a good two years, and one of my favorite aspects of that period was growing closer to my wife, Trudy. Trudy and I were both dedicated parents and professionals, and I now realize that our relationship suffered, at least somewhat, due to the sacrifices we both were making. I can now say that we are moving beyond being "effective partners" to becoming best friends. Cool stuff.
The third year of my retirement (2025) was very different. There were two things going on, one positive and one negative. The positive trend was my growing enjoyment of the "retired life" – I started finding it harder and harder to fire up for any kind work. The negative trend was ushered in by the election of Donald Trump. Trump's election sent me into a tailspin that I have only recently been able to pull out of – Trump's chaos, cruelty, and corruption (as I see it) have left me feeling confused, angry, and hopeless. I even started doom scrolling on BlueSky and Substack.
I have been regaining my balance for a while, but what really sealed the deal was a recent trip Trudy and I took to Virginia and Maryland, in large part to visit our son and his wife – Nathan and Malvina. Trudy and I drove to Williamsburg, where we were joined by Nate and Malvina in a nice Vrbo. We spent one day each touring colonial Williamsburg, Yorktown, and Jamestown – Virginia's "Historic Triangle." We then relocated to Nate and Malvina's house in Bowie, Maryland. We did some hanging out, but also drove to Ellicott City, MD, which is one of our favorite tourist spots.
I believe this trip was instrumental in getting me out of my post-retirement funk, an experience that I think reflects the power of journeys. I think the trip itself was a factor, but I also think being around our son, Nathan, was also a factor, for he is one of the most disciplined people I know, and I had come to believe that the challenge I faced was to regain my discipline. Before saying a few words about discipline, lost and found, I would like to point out for those of you who are familiar with Joseph Campbell's "Hero Journey," that my retirement seems to fit the Hero Journey story structure (see https://www.jcf.org/learn/joseph-campbell-heros-journey):
- 2023-2024: "Normal" life, prior to the Call to Adventure;
- 2025: Crossing the threshold; Tests; Helpers;
- 2026: Flight; Return; Elixir.
Upon returning from Maryland, one of the first things I did was to dig out my books on Stoic Philosophy by Ryan Holiday, especially Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control (Penguin, 2022). At this point I should mention that Nathan, a modern-day Stoic, is the one who turned me on to Holiday's books. Anyhow, as part of my renewed sense of balance, I have purposed to not only restart this blog, but to read and study Discipline is Destiny. I will write about how that is going in my next post.
An interesting (and disturbing) side note to this post is that one of the things that Secretary of Defense Peter Hegseth did in 2025 was to cancel Ryan Holiday's scheduled talk at the Naval Academy (see https://friarmusings.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/holiday-lecture-at-usna.pdf); Holiday, who is an ex-Marine, had been a regular speaker at the Academy for years.